We took a ferry ride to the island and someone told us of a great hotel to stay at. It was actually a hotel/diving school. Right away people asked if we wanted to get certified to dive. In my head, I was thinking, no way would I ever want to do that. It is a waste of money. We went out to eat and told our waitress what we were thinking of doing and she told our hotel.

The next morning, I woke up with the intention of doing nothing. I went for a quick swim and was in the middle of my quiet time when I got interrupted. Colleen and Sarah had come back from their run and a guy, Dave, walked up asking if any of us wanted to take part in the scuba class. It was supposed to be a three day course and he said we could do it in two days. I all of a sudden felt like I should do it. I had no idea why. I knew that Colleen was thinking about it and so I told her that if she took the class, I would too. This is my rash decision of the week. Colleen contemplated it and said, why not. So we met up with Dave in a scuba classroom. I was not super excited, but I knew that it would help having Colleen by my side.

We had about an hour of classroom time and then straight to the water. I will tell you now if you ever want to get scuba certified, the first time underwater may scare you to death. As we were going down, I could not figure out how to pop my ears, you can't yawn because you have a mask on for breathing oxygen. I panicked. I could not figure out what to do. I started swallowing salt water, about 2 cups full and ended up on the surface, coughing up a storm. Thankfully Dave came up with me and told me it was going to be okay. I think I would have given up right there if he had not decided to come and encourage me to go back down. I went back down and the rest of the time underwater went very well. I was able to do all of the requirements.

Once we got done with the first part, we were told that we were going to go to open water in a half an hour. I was shocked. I had not eaten anything or drank any water all day. I got ready and went with nothing in my stomach. We got out to the open water and the first dive went great. I enjoyed my time and started to like it. I was not a hundred percent hooked yet. Although when we got to the surface, we were a long ways from the boat. We had to drift in very choppy waters for about five minutes. It was exhausting and by the time I got back to the boat, I was not sure I wanted to scuba dive again. As I got on the boat, I felt fine. The thing is, we had a ride and then stopped for another dive. I was starting to feel nauseous at this point. I did not want to dive anymore. I decided to go to the end of the boat because I was almost a hundred percent sure that I was going to throw up. Colleen came and sat next to me to make sure I was all right. I did throw up about 3 times and I knew I still had to dive. As I was crying and saying I did not want to dive, Dave came up and rubbed my back and told me that it would be much better underwater. I told him I did not want to go. The time came that everyone got in the water. My scuba gear was thrown on me and I was pretty much thrown into the water. I did not like this, but I knew I needed to get some more skills out of the way. I got the skills down and went immediately to the surface. I sat on the boat getting more sick. Eventually we made it back to land. That night, I was wondering if it was truly worthwhile to get scuba certified. I concluded that the class was half way over and it could hopefully only get better.

The next morning I did feel better, but I still was unsure of the scuba diving. The water was calm and I enjoyed our 2 dives in the water. I decided that I could handle scuba diving. The afternoon brought 2 fun dives and then I was hooked. I cannot see much underwater because of my glasses, but it was so much fun to be able to just be there and see the little bit I did. I do not regret my decision and I cannot wait until I can go again with prescription goggles.

As I reflect on my scuba experience, I think of my year. I have had some rough times. I just knew that in the middle of hating or just struggling through something that if I just persevered, plug right on, God would show me what he wanted to teach me. I would be so thankful that I stuck it out and made it through. I look back at the year and I am glad I did not give up during the times I was struggling. I am a much better person because I persevered.

The other thought I had while getting sick on the boat is how much God has blessed me this year with my health. I had not gotten sick all year until my last week in ministry. I really did not enjoy the sickness, but I praise God that he has kept me healthy all year long.

When we arrived in Guatemala, we were taken to a house to stay for a few nights.  We were then taken to Antigua where our ministry was going to take place to see the ministry and find a hostel to stay at.  The first place we visited was the hospital. I knew right away that this would be my most challenging ministry location.  I get uncomfortable around disabled people in general and even more around children.  I started to pray right away for God to take away my fears and change my heart for the children.  Little did I know that this would be one of my better moments on the race.

My group (Lindsey, Colleen, Sarah, Krystle, Traci, and Kari) were told to get to know only a few children. I was wondering how that would work. We were told that there were so many children that every child would be disappointed when you leave instead of just one.  I went in just praying for God to change my heart for the place.

We finally got a tour on Tuesday morning.  We found out that we would not work with the children, but would work in the teenage women’s ward.  The wards are not necessarily for what they say. The children’s ward is for the smallest of the disabled people.  Some of the residents in the children’s ward can be in their 20´s.  I was so excited to hear about the location change. When I had heard about the women’s ward originally, I wanted to work in that place.  I have learned on the race, you work where the ministry needs the most help.  

As soon as I walked in to the women’s ward, I knew that it was where I needed to be.  I found a lady, Rafina, to be my friend for the week.  I spoke no Spanish, but was able to point at myself and say ‘Jackie’.  She said it back. I was so excited. The first day, I also hung out with the other women. The thing is, every time that I walked by Rafina, she would say Jackie and I would go and just stand by her. We were immediate amigos. 

I got really excited to go to the hospital. Every time I was there, I took Rafina out to cruise the hallways. She really enjoyed this time. It meant time away from the ward to be able to see other people. She would say ‘hola’ to passerbyers and just smile. She smiled more when she was cruising the hallways than when she was in the ward.   We were told earlier that we could take the women out to the park.  I knew that I wanted to do this with Rafina.

I finally got my chance on Sunday.  We had to get a visitors badge to be able to take the women out and we never got them until Friday because of miscommunication.  I was told on Saturday to get the paperwork done or I would not be able to take Rafina out the next day.  I got it all done.

When I arrived on Sunday, Rafina was no where to be found.  I visited with some of the other women in the ward and got to play a pointing game with one and a clapping game with another.  I was truly enjoying myself since I was the only volunteer and could say hi to very person.  Finally Rafina arrived. She was in a beautiful yellow dress for her trip to the park. The nurses made sure that she looked great to go out.  I had to wait for Krystle since I did not feel safe taking her out on my own. They were playing music, so I sort of danced for the ladies while waiting.  I believe I made most people on the ward smile.

Once Krystle arrived, we were off.  We took our two block walk to the park.  We found an ice cream man and were able to buy some ice cream to feed Rafina.  She ate the ice cream so fast, it must have tasted great.  When she was finished with the ice cream, she asked for some aqua, so I went and bought a bottle for her.  We then continued to push her around the park. We were out for an hour and a half.  I believe that Rafina smiled the whole time.  It was the best day I had so far in Antigua.  

I will definitely miss Rafina when I leave. I do not think I can ever forget her.  She always smiles when I come into the ward and says my name.  She looks forward to my visit. I am amazed at how God has changed my view of the ministry here.  It has been one of my best experiences and I smile every time I get to go to the hospital.

Side note: We will stay at a local missionary’s house for a few days and go to a lake in Guatemala. We plan to leave on Sunday for Honduras for our last ministry location.

 I had one of the experience of is this really happening to me.  It happened on the last day we were in Arriajan.  Every time my team leaves a place, we are faced with the dilema to try and find a laundry mat.  I personally do not like to travel with smelly clothes and so I make sure that this happens.

I had decided that the day to clean clothes would be on Monday.  I told the team and asked them to have their clothes ready to go to the laundry mat in the morning.  Lindsey was going to go with me, but had to babysit Mateo at the last minute. Mateo´s brother was sick and had to go to the doctor. The parents did not want to take young Mateo with them. I told her that I would head to the laundry mat and she could join me when Mateo had left.  

I headed out for the laundry mat at 9:00am. The laundrey mat was only a 10 minute walk away and I knew I could handle walking that far with laundry for 6 people.  I had Colleen´s large laundry bag with most of the laundry in it, Lindsey´s shopping bags, my bag of laudry, the soap, and my backpack. I carried Colleen´s bag on my back like Santa Claus and had both hands full with the rest of the laundry.  I made it to the laundry mat with only a few stares.  

Upon arriving at the laundry mat, I had a dilema.  The washers were all full and I wasn´t sure if the dryer would work.  It was unplugged at the time. I decided to wait anyways to at least wash the clothes.  I would figure out the drying when the time came. I was waiting and all of a sudden one of the ladies pointed to me and pointed to the washer to tell me that it was free for me to use.  She was making sure that we got to do our laudry in the order that we arrived.  I got my three loads of laundry started. I then started to contemplate how I would dry the clothes.  Should I plug in the dryer or go to another place?  

My questions about the dryer were eventually answered. All of a sudden, a repair truck pulled up and two men appeared.  The owner appeared and one of the repairmen was getting mad at him from what I could tell.  The whole conversation was in Spanish, but there were plenty of gestures to help me understand what was going on.  It was interesting to see everyone in the laudry mat watch this discussion.

The men were there to repair the dryer.  I was so excited because my clothes were almost done in the washer.  I had to remove my clothes when they were done because of the line.  I first filled up my bag because it was a water proof one, then Lindsey´s shopping bags.  I was then unsure of what to do. Colleen´s laudry bag is mesh and I couldn´t put the clothes in it.  All of a sudden someone in broken English asked if I wanted her gigantic garbage bag to put my clothes in.  God was definitely looking out for me because all of the rest of the clothes fit in the bag. I removed all of the clothes from the washers and sat waiting.  The repairmen spoke English and they told me that they were unsure if they could fix the dryer.  The only reason I was staying at this point was for the hope of a fixed dryer.  I was able to watch an entire dryer be taken apart and put back together.  The is something everyone should see at least once in their life.  

Finally, I got frustrated and left.  I figured that the dryer was never going to get fixed.  I was told by the lady who gave me the garbage bag to call a taxi.  I thought I could handle the walk home. I put the garbage bag on my back Santa Claus style.  I was holding the grocery sacks, which broke immediately from the weight of the wet clothing.  I had the laundrey soap and my laundry in my hands. I got more stares than before. I even got a honk from every person that drove by me on the way home.  I had to stop every 100 yards because the laundry was so very heavy.  I looked like a lunitic and I wish I had a picture of this expedition of mine. It surely would look funny because it is not everyday that you see a white lady walk down a street with a bag of laundry in a black garbage bag on her back in a Latin America country.  I eventually got home. The last 100 yards were the worst for me. It was straight downhill and the weight of the laundry made the momentum of going down hill very hard.  I kept falling forward. The whole time I was carrying the laundry, I was laughing at myself and thinking, ´I must look crazy and I would never do this at home´.  

When I got back, I found out that Mateo was still there.  I told Lindsey that it was a crazy experience and we needed to ask for a ride to another laundry mat when Mateo´s parents showed up.  I then got a break of 30 minutes.

Lindsey and I were dropped off at a laundry mat.  This one had one dryer. Some countries think that one dryer to thirteen washers is a very good deal.  It makes the laundry experience even harder, especially when the dryer is not working. 

The second laundry mat had an arcade.  It was loud and I was thinking where am I at.  I eventually had to get change to finish drying and the guy tried to tell me something in Spanish.  I just ran back to the dryer and sat by it.

It was a crazy day of getting laundry done.  I did get all of the clothes washed and dryed.  I will have to say it may be a long time before I have that kind of experience in washing again.

When I came to Panama for set up, I left discouraged. It was a tough week because I did not feel welcome in the place we were staying. God worked through me in that week by giving me peace that I needed to finish strong. God showed me things that made me understand that God will show me things in His own time and not mine. God changed my opinion of Panama this time. The time we stayed in a house and were truly welcomed. The family loved being around us and talking to us. I felt like I had lived there my whole life even though it was only a few days. I am going to leave wishing I had more time to just spend with our family.

I am now reaching a point of new struggling. I only have a little over a month left. I am thinking of my futrue. This is normal, but I wish I could focus completely on what I am what I am doing now. God has shown me a great plan for after the race. I am going to live with my sister in South Dakota and help take care of my two nieces. I have great peace about this part of my life. The thing I am starting to think of is at thing called a job. I am going to have to find a job and I am stuggling with thinking about this. I will not teach, but I will get a job in another profession. The job is to help with my student loans. I am just asking God to help me focus completely on him now and not what is to come. Help me Lord to trust you fully with Your plans for my life in the next year.

 
For those that have been reading my blogs and do not know, I was a high school math teacher for two years. I was the example of a burnt out teacher when I left my school district last year. I just did not know that is what you called it at the time. Most people that go into teaching at the present moment only last a maximum of 5 years. It is a statistic that is true, but there are exceptions. The exceptions turn out to be the best teachers.

The one thing I love about this year is that I have been able to be in many different schools. I have visited an elementary in Thailand, a preschool in Cambodia, an elementary in the Philippines, a preschool in Africa, and a high school here in Panama. When I signed up for the world race, I did not think I would visit schools at all. The one thing that I was burned out in God provided opportunites in most countries to do. It has helped me to have healing in my heart for the things that were hard during the time I taught.

When my team came into Panama, we had no clue what we were going to do. The one requirement we had was that team LESS was going to stay together. Danny got a contact the last day we were in San Jose that helped us out. All Danny told us was that we were going to be picked up at a bus terminal at 2:00 in the afternoon. We were all fine with this since it meant that we would be together.

We arrived in our town to find out it´s name to be Arriajan and it was 30 minutes outside of Panama, we thought it was 2 hours. We were told we were going to a retreat that weekend and working at a Christian High School. We would work with the English teachers to help the students here the English words. I was excited for the opportunities.

The retreat was great. Kari, Jenn, and Renee from Beloved joined us. We only had one job going into the weekend, which was to help out where needed. We helped blow up balloons, watch children, and clean. I even got to be in a skit where I was the teacher. If you asked me what the skit was about, I have no idea since it was all in Spanish. I just did my part in English. We were quite busy all weekend and had a great time.

We started working at the school on Monday. God has truly healed me and is working on me to have a desire to teach again. I loved the studetns. I am sad to leave them because of their kindness. I worked with a teacher that taught in the 9th and 10th grades. It was strange to me to have teachers move classrooms instead of the students. I really enjoyed getting to know the students. The only requirement for me was to speak English, but God helped show me where my hearts desires are. I know that I will not teach math this fall, but I am hoping that God provides me the opportunity again in the future.

Every team has one of us. We are Becky, Pam, Krystle, and myself. AIM calls us the finance people. We take care of our team's finances.

Even though we are called the finance people by AIM, our teams call us other things. I have been referred to as "sugar mama" a few too many times. I get to hear, ' Mom, can I have some money?' every once in a while. My teammates feel like they get an allowance from their mom each time I distribute money to them and they tell me "thanks, mom, for the money". They have told me that I need to live near them after the race so that I can do their finances the rest of their lives.

I have a purse that my team calls the team cash purse. I keep a calculator for the times that I am told it is this much a person. I even have a notebook to keep track of places that I cannot get a receipt. The team cash purse had been a great addition to my purchases and it keeps the money safe.

AIM, our covering organization, has told our team that we cannot have any relationships this year. Each finance person does have a boyfriend called the ATM. We have the privilege of visiting the ATM once a week and when we arrive in a new country, every day for a week. When I was in the Philippines, I got to go everyday for two weeks and my teammates told me that I truly was dating the ATM. I have also been rejected by my boyfriend the ATM. For some reason, I just could not get money out in Botswana. I think I was asking to much of the machine. In a given country, I know where every ATM is within a one mile radius. Sometimes we let other people take our cards because going to the ATM gets to be a job to dread. I know it gives me money, but still sometimes you need a break.

I have gone through more money this year than my team has probably made in their life. We are always buying things. The hidden fees are the best. When someone asks, "Can I get money for __________ and I need it ASAP", you know that means either finding money or going to the ATM. I try to keep more money on me than I need because of a hidden, "I need money" time.

I have learned a lot from them this year. You start to just give out the money and trust it is being spent on what it is supposed to be. You just say give me a receipt. I love when I get to give money to Colleen and Sarah for food and not have to worry about spending.

I have enjoyed the finance job, but I am looking forward to the day I hand in my 'bagies'. The 'baggies' are where the receipts go in order to send them to AIM. I love the day, which is anywhere from once a month to every three months that I hand in the receipts to someone going back to the states. I do a dance and my teammates cheer for me. I know the final set of baggies will truly be moment celebrated.

Only two more months of finances. I will only have a little more money to give out. I am not sure about what it will be like to not have to do finances for 5 other people. I know that after a few days, I will wish I could give someone their allowance of money.

 My time in Panama can only be called discouraging.  At least this is how I have felt most of the time here.  Its is not as easy as I thought it would be to set up ministry contacts.  I don't know why it has been difficult, but I know that each of us here, Aaron, Christie, Krystle, and myself have learned from this experience. 

When we first arrived in Panama, we were taken to the YWAM base.  The base is approximetly a 30 minute drive outside of Panama city.  It is difficult to get into town and it takes a long time to make it to any place.  We decided to stay at the YWAM base because it is a great organization that has lots of contacts. We knew that YWAM would be helpful in the set up process.   The thing that happened is we had a difficult time at first explaining what our pupose was.  We told them that we were in a larger group of 26 and were coming in a few weeks.  We were trying to set up ministry opportunities and needed help.  The thing that happened was miscommunication.  Miscommunication is the number one thing that hinders a lot of organizations.  A person thinks that what they are saying is right and the person listening perceives it in another way.  We go about thinking they understand us, when in some cases you are both on a different page. 

We were getting a few things organized and thought things were going in the right direction until Wednesday.  We were helping YWAM by cleaning some windows and moving beds.  We mentioned wanting to stay at a hostel because of the distance to town and it would be easier for us.  We found out that we were on a totally different page and needed to do more work than first thought of. 

We were able to get some contacts and call them.  We went to downtown Panama City to see if we could help a church called Crossroads.  I was discouraged this day.  I thought we were going to get lots of contacts and we only got one.  We left our contact to find a hostel.  We finally had our first break through.  We got a hostel for $5 a person a night.  A huge blessing because it was in budget. 

On Friday, we called a person from Crossroads and asked to meet her.  She said she needed to get some work done at her house and we said that we would help her.  We are doing set-up but we thought this would be a perfect opportunity to just be able to meet her and possibly get some contacts. 

We arrived late.  The bus was longer in getting there, which has been a normal thing for use here.  When we arrived, she just started to give us contacts.   We got about 5 or 6 contacts in the matter of 10 minutes.   We were able to help her out a her house.  I feel we were both blesed by the interaction.

I learned a lot of lessons this week.  I have had to set up things before and have had to wait on God's timing.  It is just difficult and can be quite discouraging in the waiting process.  We were hitting dead ends all week.  It was getting to a point that I was scared to go back to San Jose and tell the squad what we found out.  The thing is God just wanted us to truly trust him.   He had us spend a week here for 2 days of truly seeing him work.  I know that sometimes people will work many years for one or two days of God revealing things to them.  I am just thankful that we only had to wait a week. 

God thank you for this trip.  Thank you for putting Aaron, Krystle, Christie, and myself here in Panama to be able to set up things for our team.  Lord, you truly know everything and everything does get down in your timing.  Thank you for your patience in our wanting to do things our way.  I am more amazed by you every day.  Thank you again God for all you do for me.

When I was in college, I lacked sleep all the time. I suffered from migraines on a daily/ weekly basis. I got used to having them and could live a normal life with the pain. This year has been great. I have not gotten that many until now. For whatever reason I have been plagued with them lately. Part of the reason may be the fact that I live in a room with 15 other girls. By the end of the day I am in pain from the migraine. I would go to bed in pain and wake up with a headache, which would turn to a migraine by 5:00 in the afternoon. I finally got rid of the migraine two days ago with the help of prayer first then medicine.

The emotional pain is just living with 25 other people brings things up. Everyone has hidden pain and hurts they don't want others to see. I know I have a lot and living around 25 people brings some of the things to the surface. I am just in a fog, as I call it. I think, contemplate, and pray about what I am struggling with. I still function, but I just want to be with You, Lord. I want to be in Your presence as I work this out.

So now I get to the point where I tell you what has happened. I got to the point on my last night of my migraine. I was in pain. I just lay there crying out to you, Lord, "I can't handle this anymore. I can't handle the physical and emotional pain I am in." I eventually fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up without a migraine. I praise You for this Lord. I got up feeling great. I went to do my devotional time with you. I came across Psalm 68:19. "Praise to the Lord, to God our Savior; who daily bears our burdens." I was impressed by the fact that daily you carry our burdens. I know I have read this before and now I was ready to hear it. It hit me that when I am in pain, you are there crying with me and holding me up. You feel my emotions and you help me through it. I know that no matter what I am feeling, You are feeling it, but You are holding onto me protecting me. You don't give me more than I can handle. Lord I am so thankful for You showing me this. I am amazed at how amazing You are. You know me better than I know myself and You hold onto me and say it will be okay. Thank you Lord for getting me to this point of total surrender to you.

Extra note: I will be leaving tomorrow to go to a place by the Panama border. I will be going with a small group of people, only Lindsey is coming from my team. I know that God wants me to be there, even if I am not sure why.

All I can say right now is God is good or maybe I should should shout GOD IS GOOD.  I am now in Costa Rica.  My hear is starting to be broken for the people. 

The last week has been uneventful, except for one event.  The month or I should say three weeks of Costa Rica are going to be spent in San Jose.  The squad has decided to not break off.  This means I will spend my time here ministering alongside 25 other people instead of my five other teamates.  It is great to be around the squad and to minister with others. 

The other morning, Wednesday, I was standing staring at a map of Costa Rica.  I felt God calling me to go and pray in a poorer area of San Jose. (I will stop to tell you that we are staying in San Fransisco, the richest area of San JOse).  As I was looking at the map, Caitlin came by me.  I asked the daily question of "What are you doing today?'  She said that she wanted to go to a slum area in Alajuelita.  I said I wanted to go.  She said she had no idea how to get there and this started our adventure. 

I had to find a YWAM(the place we are staying at) staff member that could tell me the directions.  THe only ones that could truly tell me spoke Spanish. Thankfully, one wrote 'muebleria las Americas croce hacia Alajuelita' on a piece of paper.  She told us to get on the Periferica(I like to call it Peri Peri, anAfrican sauce) bus and show the message to the driver and he would drop us off. 

The Periferica is the most unreliable of all buses here.  It seems to take anywhere from 5 to 40 minutes to catch.  When Caitlin, Kari, Seth, Krystle, and myself arrived at the bus stop I started to pray for a bus.  We did see two Periferica buses on the other side of the rode after waiting 10 minutes.  We joked that I prayed for the bus and didn't specify the side. The bus arrived finally and we got on.  At first I forgot to show the driver the address on the paper and had to go back. We got dropped off across the street from the bus stop.  We only knew this from the bus driver pointing. (I have decided I should know some more Spanish.)  We waited 10 more minutes and got on our bus to Alajuelita. 

When we arrived in ALajuelita, Caitlin saw a sign for the church she knew the slums ministry was located with.  We got off the bus at a park and walked back to the sign.  We talked to men that lived at the house. After a few minutes of broken Spanish, spoken mainly by Seth, we were taken to a house of women that was part of the church.

When we entered the gate, I was amazed at the number of woman around the table.  They were making coin purses.  We tried to explain what we were doing.  Seth was the only one in our group to speak any Spanish.  We finally got to speak to someone on a phone that spoke English and were told that we would come back on Friday.  Even though we found out that we were coming back on Friday, we stayed and tried to talk. We did a lot of sign language, but it made my day.  I felt God telling me that he wanted me to be in that place at that time.  The house was a ministry of the church for women recovering from drugs.  I left the house with a huge smile and couldn't wait until Friday to come back to the town.

We never got a phone call to get picked up on Friday, so we decided to go anyways and find the church.  We found out later that the phone number did not work.  This trip consisited of the same members, but Seth was replaced by Jenette.  When we got on the Periferica, I told Caitlin that we should take the bus in Alajuelita until it either stopped or arrived back at the park.  I had no idea why we needed to do this.  Well the bus stopped and we had to get off.  We found a school and asked where the church was at.  They told us the general direction.  We started walking and was met by someone saying "hello how are you?" A greeting I don't hear very much here.  I told the people who were with me that we should ask him about the church.  He ended up taking us to the corner and showing us the church. We went into the church.

The people in the church/ school told us to come back to church on Sunday and on Monday we will be showed the ministries that they have.  We were taken back to the women's house for a second time.  We had a spontanious time to share now that we had a translator to help us.  I was ten times more blessed today than the day before.  I left knowing that this is what life is truly about.  The women ministered to us just as much as we ministered to them. Thank you Lord for the church in Alajuelita and the way you have ordained us working there.  God you are wonderful and your timing is perfect.